GrumpyDaddy

Do you ever just read something and hold your head in your hands in despair? I did when I just read some online debates among tens of parents on whether they let their children play games rated for adults. Seemingly intelligent and well educated people can be seen trying to justify allowing their children to view the most violent of content. These people know how violent the content is, they can't even plead ignorance of that. Yet out of some misplaced pride in their child's ability to function as an adult or perhaps a typically modern and lazy aproach to let their little darling have whatever he wants they would attempt to justify their reckless stupidity.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Many years ago - before I began a career writing about videogames - worked in a videogames store. We would often have parents walking up to the counter with a violent game intended for their child nexrt to them. In such cases we would point out the nature of the content. In many cases - thankfully - the parent would be shocked and it would be clear the child had lied about what was in that game case. In all too many cases though - especially among the educationally bereft - the parent would reply that they didn't give a toss (or something stronger). And in those cases we wouldn't sell them the game either.

We've reached quite a milestone recently with the twins starting school. I have no idea how four and a half years have passed so quickly. Both Pat and Kitty have launched themselves into school with great enthusiasm and are really enjoying the experience.

Seeing them start school is an emotional experience. For most parents its the same I expect. It is the end of an era. An era that began with feeds through the night, then nappies galore, first steps, potty training and garbled talking. Starting school feels like the cut off point between infants and children. And a change to a different kind of parent.

Our youngest son recently turned two and is empbracing his third year with gusto. Far from the cliched terrible twos he's instead the same funny smiling boy he always has been. Yes he's a little more definite in his opinions but on the whole he's the happiest person I've ever met.

While his favourite playmates are his older brother and sister his favourite unrelated friends are spiders. Here in Dorset we have an astonishing spider population, they surround all the windows of our house and every space in the garden. I never saw anywhere near as many spiders as I have since we moved to this part of the country.

And our little boy completely adores them. He cheerfully waves to them when he sees them "Ello pider" he says. He'll happily stand at the window for twenty minutes watching a stationary spider - occasionally offering an "Ello" or asking me to come "pider look, daddy, pider look".

Today should be a happy day. If Lanie had lived she would be celebrating her 37th birthday today. Her gorgeous twins and I would probably have made her a cake and took her somewhere special for dinner. I like to believe the alternate-worlds view of cosmology partly because it means somewhere that's exactly what is happening right now.

And meanwhile in this universe my wonderful Jo and I are planning a very special birthday for the twins next week, with our ridiculously cute baby Will, who doesn't exist in that alternate reality. It seems every universe has its own unique pain and suffering, but also has unique gifts things that make us so very happy.

Maybe there's even an alternate universe where Lanie can read this blog post and knows that I miss her so much and wish her a wonderful happy birthday.

I've just driven back from town with my three year old daughter where we went to get a birthday card for a friend of hers and some groceries. Out of nowhere Kitty started the following conversation, which I though was well worth relating to you verbatim...

Our three year old (almost four) twins play some strange games at times - but that's childhood imagination for you. One of the joys of being a daddy at the moment is listening to the bonkers things they talk about when making up their own worlds to play in.

Sometimes it's sad too. The other day I heard my daughter playing with some Peppa Pig characters and the conversation she added went something like this:

"What's wrong"?
"Oh I'm just a bit lonely."
"Why?"
"My mummy died and now I'm on my own."
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, just a bit sad."

I suppose that's a good thing really, she's already able to discuss and understand the major turning point in her young life. But hearing that kind of thing in their play brings a tear to my eye.

Well we finally got round to having the twins christened and while we were at it we got Will dunked too. That's a three for one deal down at the local God shop.

It all went remarkably well actually. The service was lovely and it was brief enough that our little pickle Will didn't get too out of hand. All three of the children behaved beautifully.

The best bit was that Patrick actually giggled all the way through being baptised. Beforehand I'd been nervous he might actually cry. But all three took to it very well and did us proud.

Many moons ago when we lived in Northolt and Jo was a full time curate I used to actually try to do my job while looking after baby twins. Of course that's a completely ridiculous thing to attempt - and I have no idea how I managed. But manage I did.

I suppose it was more amazing I managed to keep my job when first widowed and looking after the twins on my own - but I think at that point I was running on whatever passes for adrenaline among the grief stricken.

But I digress.

I used to sit at this very table using this very laptop, at our place in Northolt, trying to keep my company's website updated all the while twin babies were causing chaos around me. Madness, complete madness.

I recently received the official wedding photos for mine and Lanie’s wedding. I won’t bore you with why it’s taken over three years for me to receive the photos we paid for - at least I have them now and that’s that.

The pictures made for difficult viewing as you’d expect. Lanie died within six months of those photos being taken and every bit of them is drenched in sadness because of that. However I’m glad to have them, both as a memory of an astonishingly important and wonderful event and because I really don’t have as many pictures of Lanie as I’d like. One day the twins will want to see these.

Another reason the pictures were hard to look at was the complete cock Lanie and I made of the wedding. Getting pregnant with twins really messed up the plans for the dress. We got the music badly wrong and made a terrible job of making our guests feel welcome. And I was so nervous I spent the morning puking. Lanie and I would laugh about all these weeks later, but I still feel embarrassed that we didn’t mingle properly with our guests - sorry once again folks.

Our twins' favourite people in the entire world are my wife's parents - who they know as Granny and Grandpa.

But being under two they've not quite mastered these two words yet. Granny is apparently "Momo" and Grandpa is known as "Bumpa".

That was until we visited over the New Year. Now it seems both twins seem to have evolved "Bumpa" into something that sounds almost like "Bumhole".

It's actually so clear that at one point my surprised brother-in-law said to the twins "Don't call me dad a bumhole!"

Kids eh?

You know, the following is totally stupid I can't even bring myself to explain it to you in my own words. So instead here is the thing quoted.

Toddlers who say "yuck" when given flavorful foreign food may be exhibiting racist behavior, a British government-sponsored organization says.

The London-based National Children's Bureau released a 366-page guide counseling adults on recognizing racist behavior in young children, The Telegraph reported Monday.

The guide, titled Young Children and Racial Justice, warns adults that babies must also be included in the effort to eliminate racism because they have the ability to "recognize different people in their lives."

The bureau says to be aware of children who "react negatively to a culinary tradition other than their own by saying 'yuck'."

"Racist incidents among children in early years settings tend to be around name-calling, casual thoughtless comments and peer group relationships," the guide says.

Staff members are advised not to ignore racist actions and to condemn them when they occur.

I'm not going to get into the idiocy of the stuff on foreign food. But what kind backward red-headed stepchild needs a 366 page document to explain how to spot racist behaviour in children?

Source: United Press International