You wouldn't believe the hassle we've had since moving house trying to get broadband.

Yes we now live in quite a rural location. But we're on a new build estate that apparently has superb cabling around it to enable fast internet access.

So what happened to our order for Broadband?

• BT cancelled our first two orders without telling me.
• Order three I was assured would be fine as they'd remove a tag on our line. This didn't happen.
• Another phone call to BT and the tag was removed. We ordered broadband again.
• We got a phonecall saying we couldn't have broadband at all at this location.

Now when I switch on my wireless here all I can see are about ten BT home hubs. So someone at BT has no idea what's going on here. The village seems to be in some records black hole for the company. It was the location of an experiment to bring broadband to rural areas a few years ago and clearly someone didn't tell the rest of BT.

Anyway we wonder what the heck to do next. I've already been working several weeks on dial up and it's driving me mental. We consider actually moving house again.

...

BT tells us several things, or at least we hear different things depending who we are talking to. One version is that part of the route to the exchange goes over cable that doesn't support broadband. Another tells us we are two far from the exchange. No-one admits our neighbours are getting broadband.

A friend sees an aggrieved post on Facebook about the issue. She works for BT and kindly puts in a complaint on our behalf.

Then things get moving. A wonderfully helpful woman called Jane at BT takes on our case and fights our corner.

It turns out the issue of broadband at our location is complex. Part of the route to the exchange is over cables that don't support broadband. To enable broadband houses here have their lines routed around this cable. However there's a limited capacity to do this. All phone lines go through a route based on capacity and even if you have two phone lines one may travel a mile to the exchange, the other seven miles.

However Jane told us she was going to request that our phone line is rerouted. This is what she told me yesterday. And it could take a week or so but then we'd have broadband. Only 1/2 Mb though as we're so far from the exchange, but that would be a beautiful cold oasis in this dial-up desert.

So we expect a wait. I spend the day working via dialup.

Then around 4pm a bloke from BT Openreach knocks on the door and suggests we turn our router on. He says he's just enabled our line.

I try it and it connections. We have broadband. Not only that it's 2Mb, not the slower 1/2Mb they said we might get.

But it gets better.

Now the line has been on a while I'm reinstalling Far Cry 2 from Steam at....wait for it...8 Mb,

Fucking get in!